Faith

(This is a blog post that is very close to my heart. I am not known to be religious or I do not go to church every week. Back then, if there is anything that I can be proud of with my relationship with God is that I pray often, whatever it is, I pray. Whether if I was just having a lazy day during my commute or I am about to do something crucial, I pray. Things has long changed but my faith still stands. People can question how I pray, why I seek intercession to the saints. I was raised Catholic. I only seek intercession but it does not believe that it is because I have lessen my faith in God, I even think that it is because I believe that God listen to each and every one of us and that is because I seek intercession, just similar on how we ask our friends to include our prayers to theirs. I don’t want to go into details with how intercession works. I know this is a concept that is difficult for some religions to understand but if we believe in same God, there is really no need for us to argue.

Disclaimer: I don’t argue with people when it comes to religious discussion, I respect their belief and I believe that it does not make me less of a believer or a smart person whether or not I go on a religious debate. :)

This is an updated post from 3 years ago )

Three years ago, I was overwhelmed with problems and with God’s love at the same time, (ang gulo no?). I want to share the definition of faith, the way that I have experienced it kasi sobrang natest ang faith ko kay God recently.(My faith was really tested recently). Ayoko talagang nagshshare on social media masyado on my religious beliefs kasi I want to be neutral as much as possible at masyado akong takot na mahusgahan na masabihan na cheesy or something else pero sobrang overwhelming talaga yung naramdaman ko na kelangan ko siyang i-share kasi gusto ko yung mga taong nakakaranas ng matinding problema tulad ko ay mainspire na patuloy ka lang maniwala kasi may forever at yun ay ang pagmamahal ni God. (I don’t share my beliefs on social media because I wanted to be neutral as much as possible because I was afraid to be judged but what I felt was overwhelming that I felt that I have to share so that people who are experiencing big problems will be inspired to continue to believe because there is forever in God’s love).

Sabi faith is the complete trust or confidence in something or someone. In the talks that I heard from The Feast years ago, we must continue to worship God despite adversities. Just continue to worship to victory. Kumbaga, tiwala lang talaga. Yan ang faith yung naniniwala ka lang, your faith does not depend on the result of your prayer but on your confidence on the God that you believe in.

Let me share you a story, I usually attend mass in St. Peregrine and this is one story that left a mark on me. St. Peregrine is known to be patron of cancer patients and there is this guy who used to clean his statue in front of the church every Friday, it was his devotion because he had relatives who died of cancer. During this process, his sibling (di kasi ako sure if it was a brother or a sister, the priest did not mention it) and a cousin got cancer. He prayed for them to get better and that was an additional reason why he has been taking his devotion seriously. He continued with his devotion even until they died. People were asking him why he was still continuing with his devotion even if his prayers were not answered and he said that it was because of his faith to God. It didn’t matter to him that his prayers were not answered; he knows that it is for the best because that is God’s way of answering his prayer. Eventually, he got cancer as well, he just continued with his devotion until he, too died as well. It was a display of faith; he was just continue with his own version of worship even if God answered his prayer in a different way. He was so confident that his prayers are heard that he did not feel bad that these prayers were not answered the way he wanted them to be.

I have been going through really tough times because of my work and personal relationships. I was thinking of my problems and my feelings too much lately that I forgot to focus on my faith and to surrender it all to Him. I am not concentrating in mass and I leave early during the Feast sessions because I just had a ‘lot to do’. One Sunday, I decided to just attend the Feast and they were still on the topic of worship even if things are not going your way and ways to worship (ie: singing, dancing, raising hands, etc). The preacher was talking about how he too gets frustrated at times that his prayers were not answered but after he expressed his frustrations, he continued his worship to victory because he knows that God is working His way towards his problems. I was a little bit skeptic on how God is working His way towards my problems but I just continued believing, raising my Hand and surrendering my problems to Him. I felt His love and assurance through his message that I cried and whispered ‘Praise God’ because I know that I may be going through a lot of things right now but He is God and He loves me and He will take care of me and He will answer my prayer. I just put my trust on Him that He is working towards my miracle. It may not happen today, tomorrow or next week but it will happen.

As they say, the night is darkest just before the sunrise so hopefully I get my sunrise real soon and I hope you enjoyed reading this blog.

Update:

I wrote this when this guy (let’s call him PD) that I was dating at that time just stopped talking to me kasi takot daw siya sa confrontations. Damn, 100% Dove ata siya. Oh well, we eventually talked. Hindi pa rin niya ako inaadd sa facebook kahit anong invite ko sa kanya. I already told him how much I hated him for what he did, I already told him that I forgave him so free na ako.

Now, my faith is continued to be tested. I have this prayer and this prayer has been on going for a year now. I have so much growing up that I’ve gone through, I have emotionally matured pero hindi pa rin nasasagot yung prayer ko. I know God will give me the best, kung ano yung gusto ko at kung ano ang nararapat sa akin so bahala na. I’ll put my trust and faith in Him. I will be patient because I know God will give me my actual heart’s desire. This post is something that I read whenever I get angry because I feel that God was listening but He does, minsan inaabot lang talaga ng matagal na panahon but definitely He is working to answer my prayer.